In Repentance

(31) وَ كَانَ مِنْ دُعَائِهِ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ فِي ذِكْرِ التَّوْبَةِ وَ طَلَبِهَا

1. اللَّهُمَّ يَا مَنْ لَا يَصِفُهُ نَعْتُ الْوَاصِفِينَ

   O God, O He whom the depiction of the describers fails to describe!

2. وَ يَا مَنْ لَا يُجَاوِزُهُ رَجَاءُ الرَّاجِينَ

   O He beyond whom passes not the hope of the hopers!

3. وَ يَا مَنْ لَا يَضِيعُ لَدَيْهِ أَجْرُ الْمُحْسِنِينَ ،

   O He with whom is not lost the wage of the good-doers!

4. وَ يَا مَنْ هُوَ مُنْتَهَى خَوْفِ الْعَابِدِينَ .

   O He who is the ultimate object of the fear of the worshipers!

5. وَ يَا مَنْ هُوَ غَايَةُ خَشْيَةِ الْمُتَّقِينَ

   O He who is the utmost limit of the dread of the godfearing!

6. هَذَا مَقَامُ مَنْ تَدَاوَلَتْهُ أَيْدِي الذُّنُوبِ ، وَ قَادَتْهُ أَزِمَّةُ الْخَطَايَا ، وَ اسْتَحْوَذَ عَلَيْهِ الشَّيْطَانُ ، فَقَصَّرَ عَمَّا أَمَرْتَ بِهِ تَفْرِيطاً ، وَ تَعَاطَى مَا نَهَيْتَ عَنْهُ تَغْرِيراً .

   This is the station of him whom sins have passed from hand to hand. Offenses' reins have led him on, and Satan has gained mastery over him. He fell short of what Thou hast commanded through neglectand he pursued what Thou hast prohibitedin delusion,

7. كَالْجَاهِلِ بِقُدْرَتِكَ عَلَيْهِ ، أَوْ كَالْمُنْكِرِ فَضْلَ إِحْسَانِكَ إِلَيْهِ حَتَّى إِذَا انْفَتَحَ لَهُ بَصَرُ الْهُدَى ، وَ تَقَشَّعَتْ عَنْهُ سَحَائِبُ الْعَمَى ، أَحْصَى مَا ظَلَمَ بِهِ نَفْسَهُ ، وَ فَكَّرَ فِيمَا خَالَفَ بِهِ رَبَّهُ ، فَرَأَى كَبِيرَ عِصْيَانِهِ كَبِيراً وَ جَلِيلَ مُخَالَفَتِهِ جَلِيلًا .

   like one ignorant of Thy power over himor one who denies the bounty of Thy beneficence toward him, until, when the eye of guidance was opened for himand the clouds of blindness were dispelled, he reckoned that through which he had wronged himselfand reflected upon that in which he had opposed his Lord. He saw his vast disobedience as vastand his great opposition as great.

8. فَأَقْبَلَ نَحْوَكَ مُؤَمِّلًا لَكَ مُسْتَحْيِياً مِنْكَ ، وَ وَجَّهَ رَغْبَتَهُ إِلَيْكَ ثِقَةً بِكَ ، فَأَمَّكَ بِطَمَعِهِ يَقِيناً ، وَ قَصَدَكَ بِخَوْفِهِ إِخْلَاصاً ، قَدْ خَلَا طَمَعُهُ مِنْ كُلِّ مَطْمُوعٍ فِيهِ غَيْرِكَ ، وَ أَفْرَخَ رَوْعُهُ مِنْ كُلِّ مَحْذُورٍ مِنْهُ سِوَاكَ .

   So turned to Thee, hoping in Theeand ashamed before Thee, and he directed his beseeching toward Thee, having trust in Thee. He repaired to Thee in his longing with certitudeand he went straight to Thee in fear with sincerity. His longing was devoid of every object of longing but Thee, and his fright departed from every object of fear but Thee.

9. فَمَثَلَ بَيْنَ يَدَيْكَ مُتَضَرِّعاً ، وَ غَمَّضَ بَصَرَهُ إِلَى الْأَرْضِ مُتَخَشِّعاً ، وَ طَأْطَأَ رَأْسَهُ لِعِزَّتِكَ مُتَذَلِّلًا ، وَ أَبَثَّكَ مِنْ سِرِّهِ مَا أَنْتَ أَعْلَمُ بِهِ مِنْهُ خُضُوعاً ، وَ عَدَّدَ مِنْ ذُنُوبِهِ مَا أَنْتَ أَحْصَى لَهَا خُشُوعاً ، وَ اسْتَغَاثَ بِكَ مِنْ عَظِيمِ مَا وَقَعَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِكَ وَ قَبِيحِ مَا فَضَحَهُ فِي حُكْمِكَ مِنْ ذُنُوبٍ أَدْبَرَتْ لَذَّاتُهَا فَذَهَبَتْ ، وَ أَقَامَتْ تَبِعَاتُهَا فَلَزِمَتْ .

   So he stood before Thee pleading, his eyes turned toward the ground in humbleness, his head bowed before Thy might in lowliness; he revealed to Thee in meekness those secrets of his which Thou knowest better than he; he numbered for Thee in humility those sins of his which Thou countest better than he; he sought help from Thee before the dreadful in to which he has fallenin Thy knowledgeand the ugly which has disgraced himin Thy judgement: the sins whose pleasures have turned their backsand goneand whose evil consequences have stayedand stuck fast.

10. لَا يُنْكِرُ يَا إِلَهِي عَدْلَكَ إِنْ عَاقَبْتَهُ ، وَ لَا يَسْتَعْظِمُ عَفْوَكَ إِنْ عَفَوْتَ عَنْهُ وَ رَحِمْتَهُ ، لِأَنَّكَ الرَّبُّ الْكَرِيمُ الَّذِي لَا يَتَعَاظَمُهُ غُفْرَانُ الذَّنْبِ الْعَظِيمِ .

    He will not deny Thy justice, my God, if Thou punishest him, nor will he consider Thy pardon greatif Thou pardonest him and hast mercy upon him, for Thou art the Generous Lordfor whom the forgiveness of great sinsis nothing great!

11. اللَّهُمَّ فَهَا أَنَا ذَا قَدْ جِئْتُكَ مُطِيعاً لِأَمْرِكَ فِيمَا أَمَرْتَ بِهِ مِنَ الدُّعَاءِ ، مُتَنَجِّزاً وَعْدَكَ فِيمَا وَعَدْتَ بِهِ مِنَ الْإِجَابَةِ ، إِذْ تَقُولُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ .

    O God, so here I am: I have come to Thee obeying Thy command(for Thou hast commanded supplication)and asking the fulfilment of Thy promise,(for Thou hast promised to respond)Thou hast said, Supplicate Me and I will respond to you.

12. اللَّهُمَّ فَصَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَ آلِهِ ، وَ الْقَنِي بِمَغْفِرَتِكَ كَمَا لَقِيتُكَ بِإِقْرَارِي ، وَ ارْفَعْنِي عَنْ مَصَارِعِ الذُّنُوبِ كَمَا وَضَعْتُ لَكَ نَفْسِي ، وَ اسْتُرْنِي بِسِتْرِكَ كَمَا تَأَنَّيْتَنِي عَنِ الِانْتِقَامِ مِنِّي .

    O God, so bless Muhammad and his Household, meet me with Thy forgiveness just as I have met Thee with my confession, lift me up from the fatal infirmities of sinsjust as I have let myself down before Thee, and cover me with Thy coveringjust as Thou hast shown no haste to take vengeance on me!

13. اللَّهُمَّ وَ ثَبِّتْ فِي طَاعَتِكَ نِيَّتِي ، وَ أَحْكِمْ فِي عِبَادَتِكَ بَصِيرَتِي ، وَ وَفِّقْنِي مِنَ الْأَعْمَالِ لِمَا تَغْسِلُ بِهِ دَنَسَ الْخَطَايَا عَنِّي ، وَ تَوَفَّنِي عَلَى مِلَّتِكَ وَ مِلَّةِ نَبِيِّكَ مُحَمَّدٍ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ إِذَا تَوَفَّيْتَنِي .

    O God, make firm my intention to obey Thee, strengthen my insight in worshipping Thee, give me the success of works which will wash away the defilement of offenses, and take me when Thou takest mein Thy creed and the creed of Thy prophet Muhammad (upon him be peace).

14. اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَتُوبُ إِلَيْكَ فِي مَقَامِي هَذَا مِنْ كَبَائِرِ ذُنُوبِي وَ صَغَائِرِهَا ، وَ بَوَاطِنِ سَيِّئَاتِي وَ ظَوَاهِرِهَا ، وَ سَوَالِفِ زَلَّاتِي وَ حَوَادِثِهَا ، تَوْبَةَ مَنْ لَا يُحَدِّثُ نَفْسَهُ بِمَعْصِيَةٍ ، وَ لَا يُضْمِرُ أَنْ يَعُودَ فِي خَطِيئَةٍ

    O God, I repent to Thee in this my station from my sins, great and small, my evil deeds, inward and outward, my lapses, past and recent, with the repentance of one who does nottell himself that he might disobeyor secretly think that he might return to an offense.

15. وَ قَدْ قُلْتَ يَا إِلَهِي فِي مُحْكَمِ كِتَابِكَ إِنَّكَ تَقْبَلُ التَّوْبَةَ عَنْ عِبَادِكَ ، وَ تَعْفُو عَنِ السَّيِّئَاتِ ، وَ تُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ ، فَاقْبَلْ تَوْبَتِي كَمَا وَعَدْتَ ، وَ اعْفُ عَنْ سَيِّئَاتِي كَمَا ضَمِنْتَ ، وَ أَوْجِبْ لِي مَحَبَّتَكَ كَمَا شَرَطْتَ

    Thou hast said, my God, in the firm text of Thy Book, that Thou acceptest repentance from Thy servants, pardonest evil deeds, and lovest the repenters, so accept my repentance as Thou hast promised, pardon my evil deeds as thou hast guaranteed, and make obligatory toward me Thy loveas Thou hast stipulated!

16. وَ لَكَ يَا رَبِّ شَرْطِي أَلَّا أَعُودَ فِي مَكْرُوهِكَ ، وَ ضَمَانِي أَنْ لَا أَرْجِعَ فِي مَذْمُومِكَ ، وَ عَهْدِي أَنْ أَهْجُرَ جَمِيعَ مَعَاصِيكَ .

    To Thee, my Lord, belongs my stipulationthat I will not return to what is disliked by Thee, my guarantee that I will not go back to what Thou blamest, and my covenant that I will stay away from acts of disobedience to Thee.

17. اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا عَمِلْتُ فَاغْفِرْ لِي مَا عَلِمْتَ ، وَ اصْرِفْنِي بِقُدْرَتِكَ إِلَى مَا أَحْبَبْتَ .

    O God, Thou knowest better what I have done, so forgive me what Thou knowestand turn me through Thy power to what Thou lovest!

18. اللَّهُمَّ وَ عَلَيَّ تَبِعَاتٌ قَدْ حَفِظْتُهُنَّ ، وَ تَبِعَاتٌ قَدْ نَسِيتُهُنَّ ، وَ كُلُّهُنَّ بِعَيْنِكَ الَّتِي لَا تَنَامُ ، وَ عِلْمِكَ الَّذِي لَا يَنْسَى ، فَعَوِّضْ مِنْهَا أَهْلَهَا ، وَ احْطُطْ عَنِّي وِزْرَهَا ، وَ خَفِّفْ عَنِّي ثِقْلَهَا ، وَ اعْصِمْنِي مِنْ أَنْ أُقَارِفَ مِثْلَهَا .

    O God, counted against me are claims that stay in my memoryand claims that I have forgotten, while all of them remain in Thy eye that does not sleepand Thy knowledge that does not forget! So compensate their owners, lighten their load upon me, lift up their weight from me, and preserve me from approaching their like!

19. اللَّهُمَّ وَ إِنَّهُ لَا وَفَاءَ لِي بِالتَّوْبَةِ إِلَّا بِعِصْمَتِكَ ، وَ لَا اسْتِمْسَاكَ بِي عَنِ الْخَطَايَا إِلَّا عَنْ قُوَّتِكَ ، فَقَوِّنِي بِقُوَّةٍ كَافِيَةٍ ، وَ تَوَلَّنِي بِعِصْمَةٍ مَانِعَةٍ .

    O God, but I can not be faithful to my repentance without Thy preservation, nor can I refrain from offenses without Thy strength. So strengthen me with a sufficient strengthand attend to me with a defending preservation!

20. اللَّهُمَّ أَيُّمَا عَبْدٍ تَابَ إِلَيْكَ وَ هُوَ فِي عِلْمِ الْغَيْبِ عِنْدَكَ فَاسِخٌ لِتَوْبَتِهِ ، وَ عَائِدٌ فِي ذَنْبِهِ وَ خَطِيئَتِهِ ، فَإِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ أَنْ أَكُونَ كَذَلِكَ ، فَاجْعَلْ تَوْبَتِي هَذِهِ تَوْبَةً لَا أَحْتَاجُ بَعْدَهَا إِلَى تَوْبَةٍ ، تَوْبَةً مُوجِبَةً لِمَحْوِ مَا سَلَفَ ، وَ السَّلَامَةِ فِيمَا بَقِيَ .

    O God, if any servant repents to Thee, while in Thy knowledge of the Unseen he will break his repentanceand return to his sin and offense, I seek refuge in Thee lest I be like that! So make this my repentancea repentance after which I will need no repentanceand a repentance which will obligate the erasing of what has gone byand safety in what remains!

21. اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعْتَذِرُ إِلَيْكَ مِنْ جَهْلِي ، وَ أَسْتَوْهِبُكَ سُوءَ فِعْلِي ، فَاضْمُمْنِي إِلَى كَنَفِ رَحْمَتِكَ تَطَوُّلًا ، وَ اسْتُرْنِي بِسِتْرِ عَافِيَتِكَ تَفَضُّلًا .

    O God, I ask pardon from Thee for my ignorance, and I ask Thee to disregard my evil acts! So join me to the shelter of Thy mercy through graciousnessand cover me with the covering of Thy well-being through bounteousness!

22. اللَّهُمَّ وَ إِنِّي أَتُوبُ إِلَيْكَ مِنْ كُلِّ مَا خَالَفَ إِرَادَتَكَ ، أَوْ زَالَ عَنْ مَحَبَّتِكَ مِنْ خَطَرَاتِ قَلْبِي ، وَ لَحَظَاتِ عَيْنِي ، وَ حِكَايَاتِ لِسَانِي ، تَوْبَةً تَسْلَمُ بِهَا كُلُّ جَارِحَةٍ عَلَى حِيَالِهَا مِنْ تَبِعَاتِكَ ، وَ تَأْمَنُ مِمَا يَخَافُ الْمُعْتَدُونَ مِنْ أَلِيمِ سَطَوَاتِكَ .

    O God, I repent to Thee from everything opposed to Thy will or far from Thy love- the thoughts of my heart, the glances of my eye, the tales of my tongue -with a repentance through which each bodily part will by itself stay safe from ill consequences with Theeand remain secure from Thy painful penaltiesfeared by transgressors!

23. اللَّهُمَّ فَارْحَمْ وَحْدَتِي بَيْنَ يَدَيْكَ ، وَ وَجِيبَ قَلْبِي مِنْ خَشْيَتِكَ ، وَ اضْطِرَابَ أَرْكَانِي مِنْ هَيْبَتِكَ ، فَقَدْ أَقَامَتْنِي يَا رَبِّ ذُنُوبِي مَقَامَ الْخِزْيِ بِفِنَائِكَ ، فَإِنْ سَكَتُّ لَمْ يَنْطِقْ عَنِّي أَحَدٌ ، وَ إِنْ شَفَعْتُ فَلَسْتُ بِأَهْلِ الشَّفَاعَةِ .

    O God, so have mercy on my being alone before Thee, the pounding of my heart in dread of Thee, the trembling of my limbs in awe of Thee! My sins, my God, have stood me in the stationof degradation in Thy courtyard. If I remain silent, none will speak for me; if I seek an intercessor, I am not worthy for intercession.

24. اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَ آلِهِ ، وَ شَفِّعْ فِي خَطَايَايَ كَرَمَكَ ، وَ عُدْ عَلَى سَيِّئَاتِي بِعَفْوِكَ ، وَ لَا تَجْزِنِي جَزَائِي مِنْ عُقُوبَتِكَ ، وَ ابْسُطْ عَلَيَّ طَوْلَكَ ، وَ جَلِّلْنِي بِسِتْرِكَ ، وَ افْعَلْ بِي فِعْلَ عَزِيزٍ تَضَرَّعَ إِلَيْهِ عَبْدٌ ذَلِيلٌ فَرَحِمَهُ ، أَوْ غَنِيٍّ تَعَرَّضَ لَهُ عَبْدٌ فَقِيرٌ فَنَعَشَهُ .

    O God, bless Muhammad and his Household, make Thy generosity intercede for my offenses, follow up my evil deeds with Thy pardon, repay me not with the punishment that is my proper repayment, spread over me Thy graciousness, wrap me in Thy covering, and do with me what is done by a mighty man, when a lowly slave pleads to him and he shows him mercy, or a rich man, when a poor slave submits himselfand he raises him to wealth!

25. اللَّهُمَّ لَا خَفِيرَ لِي مِنْكَ فَلْيَخْفُرْنِي عِزُّكَ ، وَ لَا شَفِيعَ لِي إِلَيْكَ فَلْيَشْفَعْ لِي فَضْلُكَ ، وَ قَدْ أَوْجَلَتْنِي خَطَايَايَ فَلْيُؤْمِنِّي عَفْوُكَ .

    O God, I have no protector against Thee, so let Thy might be my protector! I have no intercessor with Thee, so let Thy bounty be my intercessor! My offenses have set me quaking, so let Thy pardon give me security!

26. فَمَا كُلُّ مَا نَطَقْتُ بِهِ عَنْ جَهْلٍ مِنِّي بِسُوءِ أَثَرِي ، وَ لَا نِسْيَانٍ لِمَا سَبَقَ مِنْ ذَمِيمِ فِعْلِي ، لَكِنْ لِتَسْمَعَ سَمَاؤُكَ وَ مَنْ فِيهَا وَ أَرْضُكَ وَ مَنْ عَلَيْهَا مَا أَظْهَرْتُ لَكَ مِنَ النَّدَمِ ، وَ لَجَأْتُ إِلَيْكَ فِيهِ مِنَ التَّوْبَةِ .

    Not all that I have said rises up frommy ignorance of my evil footstepsor forgetfulness of my blameworthy acts in the past, but in order that Thy heaven and those within itand Thy earth and those upon itmay hear the remorse which I have professed to Theeand the repentance through which I have sought asylum with Thee.

27. فَلَعَلَّ بَعْضَهُمْ بِرَحْمَتِكَ يَرْحَمُنِي لِسُوءِ مَوْقِفِي ، أَوْ تُدْرِكُهُ الرِّقَّةُ عَلَيَّ لِسُوءِ حَالِي فَيَنَالَنِي مِنْهُ بِدَعْوَةٍ هِيَ أَسْمَعُ لَدَيْكَ مِنْ دُعَائِي ، أَوْ شَفَاعَةٍ أَوْكَدُ عِنْدَكَ مِنْ شَفَاعَتِي تَكُونُ بِهَا نَجَاتِي مِنْ غَضَبِكَ وَ فَوْزَتِي بِرِضَاكَ .

    Then perhaps one of them, through Thy mercy, may show mercy upon my evil situationor be seized by tenderness for my evil state. There may come from him for my sakea supplication to which Thou givest earmore than to my supplicationor an intercession surer with Thee than my intercession through which I may be delivered from Thy wrathand attain to Thy good pleasure!

28. اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ يَكُنِ النَّدَمُ تَوْبَةً إِلَيْكَ فَأَنَا أَنْدَمُ النَّادِمِينَ ، وَ إِنْ يَكُنِ التَّرْكُ لِمَعْصِيَتِكَ إِنَابَةً فَأَنَا أَوَّلُ الْمُنِيبِينَ ، وَ إِنْ يَكُنِ الِاسْتِغْفَارُ حِطَّةً لِلذُّنُوبِ فَإِنِّي لَكَ مِنَ الْمُسْتَغْفِرِينَ .

    O God, if remorse is a repentance toward Thee, then I am the most remorseful of the remorseful! If refraining from disobedience is a turning back to Thee, then I am the first of those who turn back! If praying for forgiveness alleviates sins, surely I am one of those who pray for Thy forgiveness!

29. اللَّهُمَّ فَكَمَا أَمَرْتَ بِالتَّوْبَةِ ، وَ ضَمِنْتَ الْقَبُولَ ، وَ حَثَثْتَ عَلَى الدُّعَاءِ ، وَ وَعَدْتَ الْإِجَابَةَ ، فَصَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَ آلِهِ ، وَ اقْبَلْ تَوْبَتِي ، وَ لَا تَرْجِعْنِي مَرْجِعَ الْخَيْبَةِ مِنْ رَحْمَتِكَ ، إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ التَّوَّابُ عَلَى الْمُذْنِبِينَ ، وَ الرَّحِيمُ لِلْخَاطِئِينَ الْمُنِيبِينَ .

    O God, as Thou hast commanded repentanceand guaranteed acceptance, as Thou hast urged supplication, and promised to respond, so also bless Muhammad and his Household, accept my repentance, and return me not to the returning placeof disappointment in Thy mercy! Surely Thou art Ever-turning toward the sinners, All-compassionate6toward the offenders who turn back!

30. اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَ آلِهِ ، كَمَا هَدَيْتَنَا بِهِ ، وَ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَ آلِهِ ، كَمَا اسْتَنْقَذْتَنَا بِهِ ، وَ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَ آلِهِ ، صَلَاةً تَشْفَعُ لَنَا يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَ يَوْمَ الْفَاقَةِ إِلَيْكَ ، إِنَّكَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْ‏ءٍ قَدِيرٌ ، وَ هُوَ عَلَيْكَ يَسِيرٌ .

    O God, bless Muhammad and his Householdjust as Thou hast guided us by him! Bless Muhammad and his Householdjust as Thou hast rescued us through him! Bless Muhammad and his Household, with a blessing that will intercede for uson the Day of Resurrection, the day of neediness toward Thee! Thou art powerful over everything, and that is easy for Thee!